Good Things

Good things have been happening here.

  • I joined the gym.
  • I’ve done three consecutive days at said gym.
  • I’ve done three consecutive days of one hour/day on the elliptical at said gym
  • I’ve lost the weight I suspect I’ve gained after yet another “break.”  At least I’m pretty sure I did.  Tonight my Wii said I weight *exactly* the same as I did three weeks ago.  So I was ecstatic to see that.  I’m going to weigh in again in the morning, because a. three weeks ago I weighed in in the morning and I want it to be accurate and b. we all know that we usually weigh less in the morning.
  • I’m so freaking sore.  But in that good way….

Except for my knees.  They crunch, they have for a while.  Kids, this is what being heavy does to us.  So now they hurt…I suspect it’s just me getting used to the new workout.  I hope so anyway.  I’m contemplating a visit to my chiropractor to ask him about it.

Hope everyone has been good.

Giveaway!

Lindsay over at Healthy Stride has an XBalm giveaway going on over at her page today! Head on over there and sign up!

Jealousy

So. I’m jealous.  A blogger that I keep up with, Jewlia, (JuliaGoulia) is 5.1 lbs away away from my first personal goal of 250 and she looks amazing!  So why am I jealous?  Psh.  She made it there!  I haven’t.  Boo.

But.  With that said…whose fault is that?  Mine.  I can only look at myself and say, “Hey, you could be there too if you’d quit taking these “breaks” that you keep taking.”  Duh, Kelly…duh.

I joined a gym today.  I need something new.  I’m tired of my at home stuff.

I fear I’ve gained some weight, but I refuse to weigh.  I just can’t do it.  So I’m not weighing myself until the day before I go on my trip to Chicago, which is on June 18th.  So on Thursday, June 17th, I will weigh myself.  I am going to workout, eat right, sleep enough, and drink enough water.  I am going to rock this.

C25K

Kids, I’m doing it.  I’m going to run (that’s right, I said run) a 5K.  I found one in November.  Now, that may seem far off, but…it won’t be hot. 😉  That’s the only reason I’m waiting 5 months to do it.

This has given me so much motivation that it’s ridiculous.

Wow

I ran today!  I did my usual almost 3 mile walk this morning, but I added in 4 sprints.  I guess they were about 30 seconds each.  My shin splints acted up, but I pushed through them…excruciating as that was.

I’m in a better place I think.  This is a constant, everyday struggle.  I think I’ve gotten somewhere and then I look at myself in the mirror and realize that I’ve so much longer to go.

I still have my days were I fall off and just say screw it.  But, I usually talk myself back into my routine.  I need to remember that I’m not doing this for the fun of it.  I’m doing this for my health and for me.

I think I’m going to look for a 5k to run for this fall…eeps.

In a Slump

I’m in a slump.  A hole.  A stopping point.

I’m aggravated.

I’m unmotivated.

I’m stressed.

I just want to give up.

I’ve been watching Biggest Loser obsessively.  I finished up this current season, I’m almost finished with last season.  And I obsessed all night.  Literally.  I dreamed about Biggest Loser.  It’s all I thought about while I was trying to fall asleep, it was there when I’d wake up in the middle of the night.  I’ve been obsessing over getting a BodyBugg.  But they’re like $200 and after your initial free subscription period is up, you have to pay for it monthly.  I can’t afford any of that.  I’ve tried to think of every which way to get one.  I even contemplated emailing the company and groveling…but they probably get that all the time.  Bah!  Biggest Loser…you’ve stressed me out!  I think I need to lay off a little bit.

I don’t know what to do with myself.  I am so bored with my at-home equipment.  I’m sick of using it.  I want to join the gym but because of financial restraints, it’s unrealistic until maybe September.  That’s three months.  I had to cancel WW because of the financial crap too.  I’m terrified I’m going to put all my hard lost 25 lbs back on.  I already slipped this weekend.

Ugh.  I had it all planned out in my head the past week.  I had my plan down to a T.  But I can’t make myself go in the living room and do anything.  My husband is home and I just can’t workout if I know someone else is here.  It’s weird.

I’d like to go take a walk but a. if my shin splints act up, I may beat the crap out of a random person.  It’s so frustrating to not be able to do the most simple of exercises.  (I know, I know…work through the pain…) and b. I hate walking at the park when there’s a kazillion people there and there’s sure to be since it’s summer break.

So here I sit…3 hours after I’ve dropped the kids off at summer school…and I’ve done nothing but eat a bowl of Reese’s cereal.

Go.me.

(Don’t take this rant for a pity party…ok, maybe it is.  But I know what I should be doing, I know I *can* do it.  I’m just tired of it right now.)

UPDATE:

I went to the park for a walk and surprisingly there wasn’t anyone there.  No one.  I was shocked.  I busted out 40 minutes in the humidity.  By the time all was said and done I was a hot sweaty mess.  It felt good.  Must I always forget how accomplished I feel after I’ve done something good for myself?