In a Slump

I’m in a slump.  A hole.  A stopping point.

I’m aggravated.

I’m unmotivated.

I’m stressed.

I just want to give up.

I’ve been watching Biggest Loser obsessively.  I finished up this current season, I’m almost finished with last season.  And I obsessed all night.  Literally.  I dreamed about Biggest Loser.  It’s all I thought about while I was trying to fall asleep, it was there when I’d wake up in the middle of the night.  I’ve been obsessing over getting a BodyBugg.  But they’re like $200 and after your initial free subscription period is up, you have to pay for it monthly.  I can’t afford any of that.  I’ve tried to think of every which way to get one.  I even contemplated emailing the company and groveling…but they probably get that all the time.  Bah!  Biggest Loser…you’ve stressed me out!  I think I need to lay off a little bit.

I don’t know what to do with myself.  I am so bored with my at-home equipment.  I’m sick of using it.  I want to join the gym but because of financial restraints, it’s unrealistic until maybe September.  That’s three months.  I had to cancel WW because of the financial crap too.  I’m terrified I’m going to put all my hard lost 25 lbs back on.  I already slipped this weekend.

Ugh.  I had it all planned out in my head the past week.  I had my plan down to a T.  But I can’t make myself go in the living room and do anything.  My husband is home and I just can’t workout if I know someone else is here.  It’s weird.

I’d like to go take a walk but a. if my shin splints act up, I may beat the crap out of a random person.  It’s so frustrating to not be able to do the most simple of exercises.  (I know, I know…work through the pain…) and b. I hate walking at the park when there’s a kazillion people there and there’s sure to be since it’s summer break.

So here I sit…3 hours after I’ve dropped the kids off at summer school…and I’ve done nothing but eat a bowl of Reese’s cereal.

Go.me.

(Don’t take this rant for a pity party…ok, maybe it is.  But I know what I should be doing, I know I *can* do it.  I’m just tired of it right now.)

UPDATE:

I went to the park for a walk and surprisingly there wasn’t anyone there.  No one.  I was shocked.  I busted out 40 minutes in the humidity.  By the time all was said and done I was a hot sweaty mess.  It felt good.  Must I always forget how accomplished I feel after I’ve done something good for myself?

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jennifer
    Jun 01, 2010 @ 21:28:19

    I’m glad to read the update part of your post! I’m also glad you went to the park even if you didn’t want to. If exercise is painful, whether physical or emotional, try focusing on bursts in eating changes. Because weight loss is a combination of eating less and exercising more, you can see success with increased focus on either area. For example, it is much easier for me to eat well than it is to exercise more. Now, as a result, my body is not as well toned as I wish it were after losing 75 pounds. But, I am still losing weight despite not getting in strenuous exercise. (Sure, I walk with my two year old to the park and push her on the swing, but none of that is hard work. I haven’t exercised in several days, and I’ve experienced several stints like this where my exercise goes by the wayside.)

    When you’re concentrating on eating right (and drinking lots of water and getting lots of sleep) you don’t have to worry about people seeing you when you exercise or how much your body aches from the exercise you give it. Because, if you think about it, once a bit more weight comes off, there will be less pressure on the joints, you will be less self-conscious about being seen while you exercise, and your successes will give you all that much more incentive to keep going.

    Just a thought… really I’m just rambling. I just don’t want to see you give up!

    Reply

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