What.the.eff.

I don’t know, guys.  My last post was so freakin’ positive.  I’ve been fairly positive until today.

So, I’ve been going to the gym about three days a week doing an hour on the elliptical when I’m there.  I eat fairly well until the weekend and then it all goes to hell in a hand basket.  I cannot control myself.

And then last night I weighed early and I was down .2 from when I weighed last so I thought for sure I’d be down this morning on my official weigh in day.  But. I went out with my husband last night.  We had shakes from Sonic, ate at Olive Garden, went to the movies and I had popcorn and soda.  But I thought it wouldn’t have time to show up this morning.  Psh. Wrong.  I was up 2 lbs this morning.

I feel absolutely stuck.  And tomorrow night I have a night out to see Wicked and take my sister out to dinner for her birthday, and then of course it’s Fourth of July weekend.  I know, I know.  That’s no excuse to eat badly.  But, this addiction makes it hard to pass things up.  It’d be like  having a buffet of free heroin and you invite a heroin addict to the party and expecting them to pass it up.  Yea it’s really like that.

I see all of my fellow bloggers doing awesome and I am insanely jealous, but how can I be jealous when I’m not even following plan?  At this point, the gym is just keeping me from regaining everything I’ve worked so hard to lose.

I don’t want to give up, but there’s always this tiny voice in my head saying, “Just give it up, you’re destined to be like this forever.”

Bah.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sarah
    Jul 01, 2010 @ 07:50:26

    Two comments:
    1. Hang in there. Most of us have been there. I know I have. I try to focus on the long term, and things that I can do for forever, i.e., a legit lifestyle change. If you can’t go forever without movie popcorn, I can respect that (I know I don’t do without it forever).

    2. The weigh in is probably largely influenced by salt. I know mine is. I retain water like a mofo when I have a bunch of salt.

    Reply

  2. Lianna
    Jul 01, 2010 @ 07:56:45

    I can sooo relate! But for me, when I start indulging, I give up on exercise too. I’m struggling to get back on the wagon.

    Anyway, I wish I had good advice but I don’t, but just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. Like the Michael Jackson song, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! lol

    PS Weight yourself again tomorrow, I’m thinking that maybe your food just hasn’t had enough time to digest and exit, if you know what I mean. That’s happened to me before.

    Reply

  3. Annie
    Jul 01, 2010 @ 10:30:11

    You are not destined to be anything less than your best! Quit beating yourself up and treat today as a new day, a fresh start. You can do this!

    Reply

  4. kelerific
    Jul 01, 2010 @ 12:19:28

    Annie, you’re right. It’s a new day!

    Lianna, it helps knowing I’m not the only one struggling. Not that I want anyone else to struggle, but you know.

    And Sarah, (new reader!) you’re right, waaatter weight! Hate it. I have to keep telling myself that this is a lifestyle change, not a “diet.” Thanks for emphasizing that.

    Reply

  5. MizFit
    Jul 02, 2010 @ 03:58:31

    and it is so ok to feel crappycrabbystuck some days.

    but its a new one.

    how are you now AND is there a way I can help?

    thats what the blog world is for…

    Reply

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